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An Artists' Well

     As many of you know, I started the year off with a fresh notebook I intended to fill up with drawings on a daily basis until it was full. It's a simple sketch pad with 70 pages in it and I thought I could easily do a doodle a day as I am often sketching one thing or another. And it was simple, for the first few days, perhaps even into the first few weeks. Then I felt something I had not experience before--a dry well.
     It wasn't that my imagination was empty, in fact it daily over flows with ideas and visuals, but my drive, my energy to give them an outlet, started running low. There were many days I only had an hour to get a sketch in and, with so much going on in my life as it was, I felt like I was just dropping little random lines with very little emotion behind them just to say I had done it. Pride is an awful creature that can push you forward when your feet can barely hold you.
     It got to the point I had to evaluate what I was doing, and the type of artist I am, to understand why such a simple task felt so much more.
     In the end, it became clear that the issue wasn't necessarily my imagination, or my limited time--it was my desire, my passion and ultimately the type of artist I had molded myself into.
     I am a person who bottles things up.
     I wait until my skin is crawling, my hands are itching and my mind is racing with inspiration before I finally funnel the chaos down into one or more outlets. Can I draw everyday? Yes. Do I desire to? Sometimes. But I am a spontaneous whirlwind of creativity.
     I am disciplined when I am in the element of bringing something to life, but I never force that spark of imagination into existence until I am in need of releasing it. I don't sit down and draw or write daily. Often times, the best way for me to let my imagination have a release is to sit and listen to music or play a video game where my mind can wander.
     I like to cook.
     I like to stew.
     It's just who I am.
     It's been a valuable exploration into my craft, and into myself, in doing the daily drawings. I started on January 1st and completed my last, spent and withdrawn, on March 4th. A part of me is disappointed I didn't even make it 70 days. But the lessons I learned, the frustrations, the concerns and the successes I had, taught me a lot about An Artists' Well.
     For those who can be inspired, who have the hours of free time, who have mastered a compromise in discipline and passion to draw or paint or write daily, I salute you--you truly are unique creatures with driven muses.
     But to the others like me, who accept that their needs must reach a boiling point before they can be set free, I say let us continue forward. Let our passions drive us without drought--feed and nourish our souls at our whim and let us be challenged with lessons we can take to heart to help us embrace who we are.

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